after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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