Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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