There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
