Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
