Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
