Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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