So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
where does the pee come out of this thing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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