I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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