i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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