awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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