just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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