No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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