I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she told me i tasted like america
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
