so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
