Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
