i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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