i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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