Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
