dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
