I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
