no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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