your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
