hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize