I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
