she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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