Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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