your room smells of hookers.
And success
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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