Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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