I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize