How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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