i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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