It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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