im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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