dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
