Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
