The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I just sharted jello shots
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
