You're so nebulous sometimes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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