I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
