at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
