i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
