I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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