i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
