she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
