i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
