if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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