what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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