And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
