Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
