Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
