WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
