I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
