can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
then he tried to convert me to islam
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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