I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
