I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
