someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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