you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Cover your peen. We're going out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
