Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
