So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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