I will die if light touches me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize