Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As shirtless as possible
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Panties = found
Randomize
