Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
