Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
