he shaved USA in his pubs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
