You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize