yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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