i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
