i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
