Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
