She's JV to your varsity
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
