worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize