So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
